“Tell Me About Your Ideal Man”

I was asked this question recently, and I refused to even try and answer. This was a few weeks back, before I started dating again and when I was feeling pretty fatalistic about love. The truth is, I’ve never considered myself to have a “type.” There are definitely desirable qualities that I want: smart, employed, interested in travel and other cultures, and relatively fit. But I don’t have specifics. Ethnicity? I’ve done a lot of interracial dating. Nationality? I’ve dated several, including guys who spoke only marginal English. Education level? I’ve dated guys with Ph.D.s and guys who never set foot on a college campus. Occupations? Everything from engineers to artists, they’re on the list. I’m not sure if all this places me at an advantage or a disadvantage. I know a lot of girls who have fairly specific shopping lists. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. You’d think that dating dozens of men in my decade-plus dating career would give me some clarity, but it only gives me more questions. I want to be able to picture Mr. Right in my head, I want to be able to recognize him when I see him. A couple of times, I thought I had.

Last night, I attended a speed dating event. I was actually coordinating the event, so I didn’t really meet any available men. However, I am planning to go out soon with two guys I’ve been e-mailing from dating sites. It makes me nervous, since these will be my first “first dates” in nearly a year. I don’t know if either of these guys will be my ideal match, but at least I can’t rule it out.


One thought on ““Tell Me About Your Ideal Man”

  1. You’re not at a disadvantage by not having a type. It just seems that way because the numbers in online dating sites are really daunting. Especially for women. So best way to cull the herd is just to have a handy list of Deal Breakers as general criteria. If I had to message every woman I was remotely interested in based on photo and profile, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else except write to them. Definitely good luck with your dates!

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